How To Be The Cool Parent: Five Tips For Getting On The Level With Your Kids

We all want to do the right thing by our kids, and sometime that means just being yourself and sticking with the "what I say goes" parenting model. Since we've all been kids, however, we all know that it was those parents who somehow struck a "cool" balance that had the most influence on the lives of us and our friends, whoever's parents they were. And there is a certain pride in being that "cool" parent as well—after all, whatever stage in life you are at, it always feels good to be liked and appreciated.

So here are some tips on becoming the kind of parent you and your friends would have loved growing up.

1. Be More Than a Parent

A parent who knows how to get on the level with their child is one that sees their relationship as more than just an authoritative role. They appreciate their child as an individual and a friend, realizing that in order for their relationship to last a lifetime in a positive way, they have to recognize individual growth processes.

Sometimes it's better to focus on harmony and understanding—no one is perfect and your child will certainly make mistakes, as will you, but it is the learning we get from those mistakes that makes all the difference. Create a family environment based on compromise and mutual respect.

2. Be a Positive Influence

If you want your children to respect you as a friend and listen to you at the same time, they need to have a reason to look up to you. And you accomplish that by being a positive role model. When you lead another person through life, you must realize everything you do is an example and a learning model for them. Be prepared to make the right decisions and live a cleaner life than you may have if you had chosen not to raise a family.

3. Do Not be a Control Freak

We all know the opposite of the "cool" parent was the control freak who never let their kid out of their sight and freaked out any time they wanted to try something new. Give your child some space and let them get to know the world on their terms—they will eventually anyhow, so the best you can do is try to teach them how to think for themselves and slowly let them loose.

Your focus should be more inward than outward, providing the best example as possible and teaching through modeling and communication. Not through shackles and mind control.

4. Manage Your Emotions

One of the biggest mistakes many parents make is not learning to harness their emotions. Not only does this serve as a poor lesson to your child, but it is hard to be friends with or even respect someone who yells at you or gets angry at you due to frequent emotional impulses.

Even if your kid has really messed up, you will really gain their respect by keeping a level head while dealing with the situation, even when dishing out punishment. To be cool, you have to keep your cool.

5. Do Not Relinquish Authority

Finally, realize that even though you want to be more than just a parent you are still a parent. Never relinquish your authority in an effort to get on your child's level and "fit in." There is a big difference between having a human relationship with your child and becoming a pushover.

A family works best when everyone knows there is a certain hierarchy and everyone has both certain privileges and certain responsibilities. So when it is time to be a parent, be a parent.


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